


Not a word.

by stainhermouthred



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel 616, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: After Black Widow #8, Angst, Character Study, F/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stainhermouthred/pseuds/stainhermouthred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth is she knew that something was wrong since the beginning. She chose to ignore that, trusting her friends and teammates to fill her in when the time comes. No one said a word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a word.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_other_woman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_other_woman/gifts).



The truth is she knew that something was wrong since the beginning. She chose to ignore that, trusting her friends and teammates to fill her in when the time comes. No one said a word.

She trusted them with her life again and again and they failed her in something like this. She isolated herself. She didn’t know who was that man in the hospital, the one with longing expression and blank eyes. But no one mentioned him. No one mentioned anything.

She hasn’t said a word either. About the gaps in her memory. Huge ones at this, simply out of spite. Because clearly something was wrong. No one told her why she was kidnapped. Or who was that guy who brainwashed her. Nothing made sense anymore. And she would be damned if she asked anyone.

She worked hard, throwing herself into never ending cycle of teamwork and solo missions. No one was happy about her personal vendetta but then… She never asked for approval. It was her own business. Thankfully no one was going to get in her way. No one but one soldier.

She found out Winter Soldier was alive completely by accident, certainly didn’t think she would have a run in with him during one her missions. It was in Prague. He interrupted one of her missions and her peace of mind. Because someone who, as she thought, was just another asset has started calling her by her name and hesitated. And then she took a good look at him and stopped for a second because she knew those eyes and that guarded but remorseful expression. The exact same ones belong to the man in a hospital. And if she was wrong then, she saw how he looked at her later. Like he knew something she didn’t, like he knew her better than she knew herself. And as much as she hated feeling like this, she suspected he might just be right. She let him go.

When she came home, she looked up Winter Soldier. Found nothing. So she called Clint. He was her friend but that didn’t change a thing. He didn’t explain anything earlier. So she was careful while asking him about Winter Soldier. She found out that he used to be Cap’s sidekick. That after Cap died, he became the new one. She laughed with him, they shared drinks and when she came home she knew what she was looking for. At her apartment going through old news reports was easy. She caught few photos with him in a shining new uniform. Proud, often hurt, ready to fight. What was interesting, she caught herself on most of these photos as well. It was subtle, like a strand of her hair barely visible in the frame, but always there. Always with him. Never leaving his side. Why would she stick around for so long? Why was she one of the few who did? Why him?

Her friend Bobbi came back during the invasion but her memory of this even was blurry too. When she went to have drinks at blonde’s apartment, she noticed a photo. Bobbi with Clint’s arms around her and him kissing her temple and the new Captain America  framing Nat’s face with his hands in the background. She’d like to say she’s shocked. She’s not. There’s sadness in her slowly transforming into anger because no one let her know. No one said a word.

She never lets anyone know that she had seen the photo. And the next time she sees Winter Soldier, she trusts him without batting an eye. She would never be with someone she didn’t trust. But she doesn’t tell him she knows. No one said anything. She wasn’t going to be the first one. She let him believe nothing changed. But every time he was talking, she would look at his lips and into his eyes that became alive the second they rested on her face. She watched his every move trying to decide if she could have really fallen for this man.

With his determination and care. Looking out for her but understanding. With his eyes that were begging for recognition and his mouth that must have kissed her at night, giving her comfort and admiration. Hands that framed her face just like in the photo she found, she wanted to feel them, the flesh and metal one. He fought with them, could be brutal and yet, the gentleness when he handled her was clear. His face that was so unfamiliar it hurt because it should be familiar. He talked to her  and she knew all about his achievements. They were matches when it came to skills.

She wanted him to know that she found out. She wanted to ask him why she was kept in the dark about this. She didn’t. Instead she fought by his side and when they parted she pretended like it wasn’t different than the other time.

She could see in his eyes that he was hurting. She was as well.

But she wasn’t the woman he knew. She didn’t know who she was for him. And it hurt enough to know that she lost all that love that he might have given her. She was a different person now and it wasn’t worth the pain.

So when he looked at her with these hopeful eyes, she didn’t say a word.

**Author's Note:**

> That's the shortest thing I have ever written. I'm not sure how I feel about it.  
> Also: I don't own anything


End file.
